Marriage is Beautiful


Dear Reader:

What do you see when you look at this piece from the talented blogger at as much cake as you want? Are you happy for the couple on the street and sad for the one at the table? It’s all about perspective.

As a young woman, I would have looked at that man and woman sitting a million miles apart at the same table and thought: no way, never going to happen to me. I probably would have concluded that if it got that bad, I’d leave.

But, I’m not young any longer. I’ve been married for thirty-four years and I think the drawing perfectly illustrates the reality of long-term marriage. In my mind’s eye, the two couples could very well be one in the same captured at different moments in time.

The man and woman at the table may be poised to forgive one another. Maybe something quite unexpected will happen that will clarify both the beauty and fragility of life. Perhaps they will be drawn closer together in grief or joy. Or maybe the idea of a life without the other will suddenly become too difficult to imagine. Of course, it’s possible they’ll be separated soon, but it’s just as likely that the lovebirds on the street won’t stay together.

It’s hard to know about these two couples, but I do know that my husband and I have looked like both of them through the years. We’ve been close and we’ve been distant. We’ve appreciated each other and we’ve taken each other for granted. We’ve made mistakes and we’ve learned a few things:

  • It’s the tough times that can serve to really cement the union.
  • If you choose wisely in the first place (as I did), marriage is worth the effort.
  • Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful and marriage is never perfect.



10 thoughts on “Marriage is Beautiful

  1. I appreciate your wisdom in all things. I have been in a very miserable marriage where it was much worse than merely looking away when sitting at a cafe table. There is joy and playfulness in my relationship, but there are also very sad times because of circumstances beyond our control. I agree that these challenges can be very bonding, and that is the test of a relationship. Sometimes you are out of sync and that is the same with friendships and other family relationships. The test is whether you can tolerate this, and trust one another to rebuild.

    1. You are very kind. I do not attempt to judge anyone else’s relationships. There are marriages that should be ended. And there are marriages that could have been saved. I’m glad my husband and I chose to persevere. We’ve come very close to divorce. And I think you are correct that the same principles apply to other types of relationships. I “divorced” my mother. I posted about it: Mean Mothers. She was a toxic person. I spent years in counseling and in consideration before I severed ties. But, once it was done, I never looked back. I am glad for the joy in your relationship and I hope that it will always outweigh the challenges. Hugs, M

    1. I love your art…it always makes me feel something. So would you care to share the circumstances or thoughts surrounding your piece?

      1. I think it’s a reflection of personal experience and of observation. I’ve been at all stages of relationships, including a long marriage. As I write and process this, I realize that I might have been thinking that one can be lonely, even in a partnership or a marriage.

      2. I had a wonderful counselor for many years and there are a few truths she imparted that have stuck. She’d always say, “we’re all alone, that’s the reality.” Thank you for letting me share the piece on my site.

  2. Congratulations on such a long and happy marriage. I totally agree with your final three points. Marriage can be one of the hardest things you can do – but it can also be one of the things that brings the most joy into your life. I chose wisely too 😉
    It’s quite an interesting picture. I thought it might be the same couple – viewed from different times of their lives. But it also goes to show that you never actually know what’s going on in someone’s life just by looking at them, then making some sort of judgement by what you think you see.

    1. Thanks for reading Adele. How are you feeling as the time grows near for us to vote? I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m almost afraid to look!

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