My daughter’s roommate and friend, Suzie Katz, presented me with a Mother’s Day bouquet! This is just one example of the many lovely things that happen to moms with adult children.
My favorite people are the people who begin conversations with a question…this question: “How’s Natalie?” This gives me the opportunity to communicate straight from the depths of my heart. And, it immediately puts a smile on my face, because my daughter is my favorite topic.
I remember a strange encounter at Noah’s Bagels when Natalie was about four years old. I noticed a man at a nearby table watching us enjoy our cream cheese covered indulgence. On his way out, he looked at me and said he thought it was nice to see a mother and daughter so obviously enjoying each other’s company.
“Oh, she’s my greatest joy, ” I remember answering.
He corrected me. “Well, your husband must be your greatest joy or you wouldn’t have her.”
If I ran into that man today, I’d tell him the same thing. Indeed, I love my husband, still. But as Alice Thomas Ellis so succinctly put it:
Being a mother is, at once, both the most humbling and the most rewarding experience of my life. I will never consider it anything less than a miracle. It will always be the choice I am most proud of. It will always be the responsibility that drives me to be the best person that I can be.
It’s so easy to go on and on about what makes my daughter special, but I’ll just say that, despite all of her accomplishments, it is her kindness and generosity that I am most proud of. As I’ve watched her grow into an adult, I am so comforted to see her display a quiet, resolute strength and a deep understanding and acceptance of herself and those closest to her. She is a young woman who I both enjoy and admire.
I’d like to thank her for letting me “drop by” to enjoy a donut with her and her roommates. There is no place I’d rather be today than sitting across the table from my girl at SLODOCO dipping a maple bar into my latte.
Happy Mother’s Day, dear readers!
* When I repeat this quote, I change hamster to dog. Kids loves dogs and dogs DO love them back!
There’s nothing like a good laugh which is why I love The Onion. Humor helps all the time, but never more than in our current political climate or when dealing with issues of motherhood.
I laughed loudly throughout this article, so had to share it with you.
“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”
― Elizabeth Stone
Flowers from my girl!
I am lucky enough to be spending Mother’s Day weekend with my daughter! One forgets how good food is in a college town: donuts, pizza, bagels and smoothies oh my!
Best wishes to my dear friend, Courtney, mother of four girls all under the age of nine, and hugs to my mother-in-law, Mary , who gave me my wonderful husband!
It was one of those moments that just sneaks up on you. It was 5 years ago, but it remains fixed in my memory. It was the day I realized that even though I was the one driving from point a to point b, my passengers were not far behind me. I was sitting in the car pool lane at school with my neighbor in the back seat awaiting the arrival of my daughter. We had just finished an uninhibited, full-throttle, banging on the steering wheel and backpack sing-along with Adele. I was still “Rolling in the Deep” when my 15-year-old passenger asked. “How old do you feel?” I turned to face her and she continued. “Do you feel as old as you are?”
I was impressed with her question, and I wanted to know where it came from before I answered. She said that it came from observing her mother closely. Fair enough. She deserved a thoughtful response.
At the time, I was a mere 52-year-old, so in some ways I was still getting used to the label: “50-something.” I was then and still am in good health fortunately, but I didn’t really think that was at the heart of her question. I had to tell her that, although I wasn’t really sure what “50” was supposed to feel like, it was very hard to believe that it had happened to me, even though I was along for the entire ride.
“So you are saying what everyone says: time goes by quickly?” she asked. She’d heard it before and I could only confirm that it is one of those truths that can’t be known…until it is known.
She wanted more than a simple, trite, easy answer though, so I drew a comparison for her. I described “Imaginary 50-year-old Michele.” She’s a better driver. She’s very wise in a very casual way. She’s less fearful. She’s more organized.
In contrast, “Real Michele” was still a lousy driver and a bit disorganized. She knew what she didn’t know and she did not hesitate to ask for help. She was not unafraid, but she had a greater sense of peace than she could have imagined.
I also confessed that the picture that I carried in my mind no longer closely matched what I saw when I looked at photographs of myself. Generally, I wasn’t bothered by that though. I estimated my imaginary mental picture age was about “35.”
If I were asked the same question today, I’d probably reply in the same manner. I’m now closer to “60” than “50” and I’m sure when that happens it will feel sudden, and I’ll bet I won’t feel like a 60-year-old. I’m guessing I’ll still be a poor driver and a bit disorganized, but, in my mind’s eye, I will have aged some; I’ll probably look about “45.”
I’ve decided a bit of denial is just fine. I know how old I am, but there’s no reason to dwell on how many years I’ve lived except to marvel at my incredible good fortune. When I want to feel really young, these things always take me back:
This year I visited my daughter at college the week before my 57th birthday and she and her roommates helped me celebrate. They baked me a cake and used the only candles they had in their apartment, as they had all turned “20” this year!
“Never let the mud puddle get lost in the poetry
because, in many ways, the mud puddle is the poetry.”
My girl, circa 2002, waiting for the rain in her favorite boots! She’s now a college student and I ask permission before I post her pic.
My daughter got stuck taking me to a medical appointment in one of those lovely role reversals that happen once your child is grown. I was required to have a designated driver after a pain specialist gave me a couple of cortisone shots in my back. Before transporting me home, my daughter was called into the recovery room where the doctor gave her a few instructions.
As she ever so gently helped me into the car, I asked her how she liked my doctor. “Your doctor. That was your doctor?!” Apparently, she had assumed she was receiving post-procedure instructions from a medical assistant of some sort.
“You didn’t tell me your new doctor was buff,” she retorted. ” Young. You mean young,” I responded. Nope, she meant buff as defined in the Urban Dictionary: very strong or having defined muscles, hot.
I was given the chance to re-evaluate my assessment of my doctor a couple of weeks later, and I found him to be both young and buff! Wow, how did I miss that? Well, I’ll tell you how…during my initial consultation with him all I could focus on was his bright shining youth. Wow, I wondered as I left his office, are the doctors getting younger or am I getting older? Think I answered my own question!
Other clues that you are getting older:
Just a few reasons you don’t mind:
Enjoy your day,
I call Beth my “Texas beauty queen girlfriend,” because, well she’s very pretty and she still speaks “Texan” even though she hasn’t lived there for more than 20 years. Y’all understand?! But she is so much more than attractive and down-to-earth. She’s the kind of friend who always listens, never judges (unless we’re talking about the quality of a photo!) and helps when she can.
Before I got to know Beth, she was simply the “Mom with the camera.” Other parents spoke highly of the wonderful photos, videos and slide shows she generously prepared to commemorate school events and trips. I didn’t really get to know Beth until we moved across the street from her and started a car-pool to get our kids to school. Her son and my daughter are the same age and her oldest is two years their senior. We bonded as moms and neighbors and today, now that our “children” are away at school, we share a bond as artists. It seems Beth is multi-talented; she is not only a brilliant photographer, but she is also a gifted painter. I invite you to view her art at bordelonartworks.com.
When I called to tell Beth about my idea for a blog, she responded exactly how I wished she would: with enthusiasm, encouragement and an offer to help. I’m a writer, not a photographer, but I knew I wanted photos on my blog. Beth and I are no longer neighbors, but she loaded up her camera and speciality lighting and made the 80 minute drive to my pink shed. Most of the photos (all the good ones!) on my site have been taken by Beth. After the photo shoot, we had a good old-fashioned slumber party. In an attempt to be as good a friend to Beth as she is to me, I agreed to watch the Bachelor, as that is one of her favorite shows. My husband disappeared to his study and I had the opportunity to find out what all the hype is about. Um, well… I just couldn’t really enjoy the visual of one guy kissing a different girl in each scene. But, I could understand how one could become addicted to show. I asked that Beth tell me who Nick chose, as I would be curious but not watching. (Funny thing: my technology consultant, Kristin, was approached to be on The Bachelor years ago, but declined…wisely, I think!)
Years ago Beth and I helped each other through the day-to-day challenges that come with raising children and today we support eachother in our artistic endeavors. I feel so grateful to call her my friend.
May y’all be blessed with good friends,